Thanks to Usksider for letting me know how to do this!

Over the last two years I have gone up two dress sizes, and several people have made coded hints such as "wow, you are looking healthy" (code for "when did you get so fat?". But I regularly weigh myself, and over the last three years my weight has only increased by 1 kilo!

How can this be?

Perhaps I am getting shorter?

1. Have eated small portions all week.
2. No takeaways
3. Trips to the gym: still none
4. Took my own shopping bags to town with me yesterday so I could buy veg from themarket without the use of wasteful carrier bags. Unfortunately, I left them in the car on the top floor of the the multistorey carpark and only realised when I had gone down the eigth flights of stairs to the bottom (tried to retrieve them but my other half thought I had gone insane).
5. Drank two pints of cider.

Verdict: Could do better.